Jan 15, 2015
The Blessings from Fall 2014
I would never expected what my Fall would bring forth and in turn change my perspectives and transform my heart and passion... or maybe just give me more of a direct vision for what God wants me to do.
It was a great Fall, a lot of growth...times when I wanted to just push the pause button because I didn't want to grow and be challenged anymore. But also a time where I sat back and asked some hard questions and had to search and listen for hard answers.
I had fun too as I grew closer to my counseling cohort and grew to love my friends in the program. They have become irreplaceable in my life. We are walking through this together, figuring out so much so we can be the best versions of counselors that we can be. Between the trainings, retreats, meetings, counseling experiences, and bonding with them amongst the studying and group projects, I didn’t sit still until after Christmas. But each experience was enriching in its own way.
So... the most challenging part of the last few months is my wavering faith in the church. Not in God as much.... But in the Body of Believers. If it wasn't for my love for God and faith in what He has done for me in sending Jesus to earth as a sacrifice, I would have walked away completely. I was hurt. But I knew God was Bigger than me and bigger than church, esp the version of The Church I have experienced. It was amazing just a few months before my heart was completely sold for Him and I was in the word daily and I was involved in daily bible studies and praying gave me peace. Now I was just begging Him not to give up on me as I figure this out. Walking into any church gave me such distaste in my mouth and so much anxiety, that it was easier to fill my schedule with other things. This coming from the girl who never wanted to miss a Sunday, even when she was sick. I was Broken. No one seemed to notice. And it was not about anyone else, this was between me and God. Bitterness was taking root. I followed Him, I made the right decisions, BUT yet I got hurt. My views of people who claimed to love Jesus changed in general and I started questioning everyone who said that. I wanted proof. My mentor was the only one who knew my struggle deep to the core and knew these reasons along with others why I was struggling. But my love for Jesus was still there and I was fighting for my relationship with God. My mentor assured me it would be okay to take a break, Jesus would forgive me and for a few weeks I did take a break from church, without beating myself up. And then slowly but surely I started making myself take those steps of growth again and started walking back into the church. I would go and listen to the worship, listen to the words. Not participate as much as really take in the words. I would listen to what the Pastor was saying, letting it sink in. Healing was slowly taking place. I realized what was holding me back was forgiveness and I dove into the bible and let the verses of forgiveness wash over me and I meditated over the verses until they started to sink in. I realized forgiveness was the bridge I needed to give me courage to be vulnerable and be a part of the body again. With a full heart, I am thankful for this process, it was difficult but it was a precious time as well. It took me off my mountain top and helped me see spiritual struggle. As I spend this time growing in Christ and getting involved once again, I can celebrate over last year. That experience of struggle that I am just now coming out of will help give me compassion and understanding for the clients who walk into my office with the similar struggles and I will be able to walk beside them with understanding and empathy.
Amazing Moments... Sand Tray training has begun! Oh my goodness! I never realized what passion was until I started the program but also I never realized the intensity of it until I discovered Sand Tray. I even doubted this type of therapy at first, I was intrigued and open to learn and knew it would be part of Play Therapy (which has become a big focus point for me) but I didn't realize how amazing it truly is. I signed up for levels 1 and 2; I would give it a shot. One of my close friends from the UK trip was doing it to so I wasn't going in this alone! Well it ended up being a group of us from Stetson which made it even more fun and then they introduced us to a world that we could not come back from. I will not go into the intricate details of Sand Tray, which could be boring to some. But it is great and it involves a little box, sand, and LOTS of miniatures and the box becomes the client's world. So much happens during Sand Tray and it is a great way to process grief or trauma with individuals who cannot find words to their pain. Sand Trays can be used for almost anything but since this is one of the areas I want to focus on, this is how I am intrigued at how it works. I am now signed up for levels 3 and 4 this spring and we are planning training for the next levels after that. My plans are to be certified in Sand Tray along with Play Therapy by the time I reach licensure. I am ready to dive in and work with people. The learning stage is so much fun but full of anticipation and impatience as well.
I have also been appointed as the Student Representative for the Central Florida Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (CFAMFT). It took me this long but I am finally on a Board of Directors ;) JK. This seriously fell into my lap. It is a two year commitment and you get voted in but they needed a temporary one to fill in Sept-Dec and I got chosen and now I am selected for the next two year slot. It is a great experience and fun. I love working with all the therapists and seeing the different views of the counseling world, the realness of it. I am really blessed to have this opportunity.
Classes were amazing and so much easier stress wise than the summer session. I learned through my evaluations class that I don't like formal evaluations all that much and I like doing my own thing so private practice is looking more and more promising in my future. After a few years of experience first of course ;) Group therapy was a hilarious class all the way around. I never really envisioned me being into group therapy and also I am one that has to see it work to be a believer. I saw it work, I am a believer. It took a few weeks for us to go deep but once we did, during and after our retreat, work happened (We had to do group therapy as part of our class). It was remarkable. Also amazing was how close we grew as a unit, the more we shared the closer we got. It was such a sweet time. Our professor/leader was irreplaceable and she even had enough courage to challenge me week after week. I felt like there was a bulls eye on me because each week she found a way to challenge me and I went from closing up to contradicting her and fighting back to accepting the process and allowing growth to happen. I was amazed at how the semester progressed. I am sure many of my friends have similar stories but I know we are leaving there stronger in our knowledge of group and how to lead one effectively.
By the time Christmas came, I was exhausted but ready to celebrate. I am so thankful for my friends in the program and outside the program, cheering me on. This Christmas was a sweet time of celebration as I got to celebrate with my Stetson friends at the end of the semester with a couple of parties and I got to end another year with my wonderful FASS family. Then Christmas Eve with the Wood’s and Megan and Christmas Day with the Barton’s and Willow’s. I send my love to SC where my family is but I am thankful God has provided with me with a beautiful Orlando family to celebrate these times since this is where I call home. I have so much to be thankful for. I have so much to be excited about as we begin and go through 2015! It may be the middle of January but Cheers to the New Year!
Jan 14, 2015
2014
2014 was such a transformable year.
It is amazing how a year can change a person.
Last January at this time, I thought I had it all figured out and everything in my life fit perfectly. I was in graduate school, starting my second semester, still in amazement that I was smart enough to even get a master's degree. I was comfortable, thinking I had a whole church backing me up in case I fell. I didn't worry about the people in my life, I felt secure. I was looking at life through my naive rose colored glasses. I knew God was up to something but I wanted to stay in the comfortable, I was not ready to be vulnerable yet. Then throughout the first half of the year, life happened. I held onto God like a life preserver. I kept turning to Him for answers, for guidance. But I was still being met with hurt, heartbreak, rejection. To the core, what makes me the most vulnerable. On top of that, I am not just in a masters program, I was truly learning the intensity of the program I was in, of the career I was going into. God was my life preserver.
I did survive the first six months with a few scars along the way. I made some tough decisions that as hard as they were, I never doubt they were the right decisions. I no longer had that safety net of the church that I have had, and always having my church to lean on has been a safety blanket of mine since the early days of relationship with Christ. My trust was shaken in many of my relationships and I began to really learn how fragile friendship is. When you have those that you can trust, laugh with, cry with, and walk through life with, cherish them. Life is to short not to enjoy life and the people in it.
During the first half of the year, I left the country and traveled. For the first time I allowed myself to see outside my bubble at the ignorance people have to people with disabilities. This isn't saying anything bad or negative about any of them. I am ignorant about many things. But it awakened something in me, broke my heart in a way but also lite a fire in me. There needs to be a platform for social awareness for people with disabilites, whether that means diving into social policies or being the voice for those that can't get heard. It is time to educate people. I realized God has given me so many amazing opportunities that has led me to this and He has given me a voice and I can't sit back and not help. I can't fully map out what everything looks like right now. But 2014 has began to put together the blueprints and it started with the UK trip and the experiences I had during my travels. I will never forget that trip and I will always be thankful for that trip because it has helped me understand what I need to do with this loud stubborn steadfast personality I have been given.
The challenges of the first part of the year made the second half seem like a vacation. After surviving the summer semester, I realized I could take on anything schoolwise. However, I reached a point where I had been through the ringer. I realized I just barely was surviving and I was not taking care of myself. Self-care is something they push in the counseling program because when you are taking care of yourself and at your best then you can help others more fully. I am so used to helping others and putting myself last that I forget that. Well by the time July arrived, my migraines were out of control and my anxiety was really high. I survived. but not thrived. So it was time to be proactive... I started seeeing a massage therapist for my migraines and not only has he relieved them but he has become a good friend of mine. He has been able to help me with my migraines, back problems, and relieve my stress AND we get each other's sarcasm...He has truly become a blessing in my life. I also seeked out a mentor, which is suggested in the program. I did research and he is a counselor but he is solid in his faith (but who would have guessed he had a similar personality as mine.) Another God divine intervention. He has helped my anxiety as we have explored the past, understood the present, talked about the future. We can talk 'counseling' talk when a lot of my friends outside the program don't always get what I am saying or my enthusiasm behind it. He has helped me center myself and focus so I can learn about myself and also apply what I am learning in the program in practical ways. God used two people to start shaping the way I view things and help me see things with a clearer lens... I am becoming a healthier version of me .... if for no other reason than to admit life is messy and let's figure it out together.
Fall semester was amazing. I will let that be my next post because the Fall brought so many opportunities that I am amazed at how I was blessed at the opportunities given to me :-)
It is amazing how a year can change a person.
Last January at this time, I thought I had it all figured out and everything in my life fit perfectly. I was in graduate school, starting my second semester, still in amazement that I was smart enough to even get a master's degree. I was comfortable, thinking I had a whole church backing me up in case I fell. I didn't worry about the people in my life, I felt secure. I was looking at life through my naive rose colored glasses. I knew God was up to something but I wanted to stay in the comfortable, I was not ready to be vulnerable yet. Then throughout the first half of the year, life happened. I held onto God like a life preserver. I kept turning to Him for answers, for guidance. But I was still being met with hurt, heartbreak, rejection. To the core, what makes me the most vulnerable. On top of that, I am not just in a masters program, I was truly learning the intensity of the program I was in, of the career I was going into. God was my life preserver.
I did survive the first six months with a few scars along the way. I made some tough decisions that as hard as they were, I never doubt they were the right decisions. I no longer had that safety net of the church that I have had, and always having my church to lean on has been a safety blanket of mine since the early days of relationship with Christ. My trust was shaken in many of my relationships and I began to really learn how fragile friendship is. When you have those that you can trust, laugh with, cry with, and walk through life with, cherish them. Life is to short not to enjoy life and the people in it.
During the first half of the year, I left the country and traveled. For the first time I allowed myself to see outside my bubble at the ignorance people have to people with disabilities. This isn't saying anything bad or negative about any of them. I am ignorant about many things. But it awakened something in me, broke my heart in a way but also lite a fire in me. There needs to be a platform for social awareness for people with disabilites, whether that means diving into social policies or being the voice for those that can't get heard. It is time to educate people. I realized God has given me so many amazing opportunities that has led me to this and He has given me a voice and I can't sit back and not help. I can't fully map out what everything looks like right now. But 2014 has began to put together the blueprints and it started with the UK trip and the experiences I had during my travels. I will never forget that trip and I will always be thankful for that trip because it has helped me understand what I need to do with this loud stubborn steadfast personality I have been given.
The challenges of the first part of the year made the second half seem like a vacation. After surviving the summer semester, I realized I could take on anything schoolwise. However, I reached a point where I had been through the ringer. I realized I just barely was surviving and I was not taking care of myself. Self-care is something they push in the counseling program because when you are taking care of yourself and at your best then you can help others more fully. I am so used to helping others and putting myself last that I forget that. Well by the time July arrived, my migraines were out of control and my anxiety was really high. I survived. but not thrived. So it was time to be proactive... I started seeeing a massage therapist for my migraines and not only has he relieved them but he has become a good friend of mine. He has been able to help me with my migraines, back problems, and relieve my stress AND we get each other's sarcasm...He has truly become a blessing in my life. I also seeked out a mentor, which is suggested in the program. I did research and he is a counselor but he is solid in his faith (but who would have guessed he had a similar personality as mine.) Another God divine intervention. He has helped my anxiety as we have explored the past, understood the present, talked about the future. We can talk 'counseling' talk when a lot of my friends outside the program don't always get what I am saying or my enthusiasm behind it. He has helped me center myself and focus so I can learn about myself and also apply what I am learning in the program in practical ways. God used two people to start shaping the way I view things and help me see things with a clearer lens... I am becoming a healthier version of me .... if for no other reason than to admit life is messy and let's figure it out together.
Fall semester was amazing. I will let that be my next post because the Fall brought so many opportunities that I am amazed at how I was blessed at the opportunities given to me :-)
Jul 23, 2014
1 year
A year ago, my life seemed full. A year ago, I knew God was calling me to something more, something bigger, to step out on faith and believe. There was this emptiness that needed to be filled, this promise He wanted for me but I was too afraid to follow. I was in the comfortable. I built a life around the comfortable. A decent job, ministries, church, even enough friends to keep me busy. From the outside, for a single girl in her 20s, that was enough...but I knew God's call for me, I was just nervous to leave the comfortable.
A year ago, I participated in PLACE bible study to find God's place for me. Boy did God speake to me in those 5 weeks. He spent that time shaking me awake. I spent 6 years waiting on the next steps... I knew what I was called to do since I left CofC, I was just waiting for the next steps. He was giving them to me. Through this bible study and SO MUCH PRAYER, I took that next step. A year ago, I listened to God and my life changed... I followed Him and I transformed into a person that loves Him more, loves people more, each day He shows me something through His eyes and not the lenses of the world or others. I have learned not to let rules others set for me dictate my life, but let His love and guidance lead the way. He is not steering me wrong.
A year ago, I took the plunge. I began school full time and work full time. The transition was difficult and I had to figure a lot out. I had to learn balance. and not to procastenate. Also to spend a lot of time by myself to study, which was one of the biggest challenges of all. The biggest challenge though was stepping back from ministry, I had to step back from serving completely because i didnt have time to work, to study and go to class, take care of my self, and serve so I knew what I had to sacrifice temporarily so I can serve fully in the future but it has been the hardest thing for me to ever do and I still miss it. I have also learned what true friends are this year. I thought I had a good perception on trust and people but this year has been challenging because I have seen some dear friends walk away and it is not as much as one side is wrong or right as it is a loss because of the friendships I cherished. I thought they were liftetime friends but I have changed in the last year and sometimes we can't explain how or why things, we just have to trust God....Sometimes I dont want to accept that, but I do because I do trust Him.
A year ago, within two or three weeks, I interviewed, applied and began a masters program at a college 30 min away. For Marriage and Family Counseling. With a Play Therapy Certicate (this has been added on just recently, amazing story). With this, I am going to go work with youth and young adults who have been abused or abandoned, primarily in the foster care/childrens home system. Also work with families with individuals with disabilities (another God story). These are just ideas, plans. I truly believe God will shape and form them how HE pleases, but don't you see, something amazing will be done? God's light will shine. This was His plan when I was at CofC, I just had to wait, to grow up, to mature, to learn life lessons. I love the program, I love my friends. We are all so different, from different backgrounds and different perspectives. I love them all. I thank God for them. God brought me here, I am suppose to be here right now in this time in my life. I am excited for what He will show me during this program. I have know officially completed my first year of graduate school :)
A year ago, I participated in PLACE bible study to find God's place for me. Boy did God speake to me in those 5 weeks. He spent that time shaking me awake. I spent 6 years waiting on the next steps... I knew what I was called to do since I left CofC, I was just waiting for the next steps. He was giving them to me. Through this bible study and SO MUCH PRAYER, I took that next step. A year ago, I listened to God and my life changed... I followed Him and I transformed into a person that loves Him more, loves people more, each day He shows me something through His eyes and not the lenses of the world or others. I have learned not to let rules others set for me dictate my life, but let His love and guidance lead the way. He is not steering me wrong.
A year ago, I took the plunge. I began school full time and work full time. The transition was difficult and I had to figure a lot out. I had to learn balance. and not to procastenate. Also to spend a lot of time by myself to study, which was one of the biggest challenges of all. The biggest challenge though was stepping back from ministry, I had to step back from serving completely because i didnt have time to work, to study and go to class, take care of my self, and serve so I knew what I had to sacrifice temporarily so I can serve fully in the future but it has been the hardest thing for me to ever do and I still miss it. I have also learned what true friends are this year. I thought I had a good perception on trust and people but this year has been challenging because I have seen some dear friends walk away and it is not as much as one side is wrong or right as it is a loss because of the friendships I cherished. I thought they were liftetime friends but I have changed in the last year and sometimes we can't explain how or why things, we just have to trust God....Sometimes I dont want to accept that, but I do because I do trust Him.
A year ago, within two or three weeks, I interviewed, applied and began a masters program at a college 30 min away. For Marriage and Family Counseling. With a Play Therapy Certicate (this has been added on just recently, amazing story). With this, I am going to go work with youth and young adults who have been abused or abandoned, primarily in the foster care/childrens home system. Also work with families with individuals with disabilities (another God story). These are just ideas, plans. I truly believe God will shape and form them how HE pleases, but don't you see, something amazing will be done? God's light will shine. This was His plan when I was at CofC, I just had to wait, to grow up, to mature, to learn life lessons. I love the program, I love my friends. We are all so different, from different backgrounds and different perspectives. I love them all. I thank God for them. God brought me here, I am suppose to be here right now in this time in my life. I am excited for what He will show me during this program. I have know officially completed my first year of graduate school :)
Jul 1, 2014
I survived June ;)
We are 6 months into 2014... the year is flying! I have so much to say and never enough time. I need to use my time more wisely than on this blog these days. Time is becoming a precious entity. However, certain things are important to record and remember... and today I want to take a moment and highlight on the humor that I just found a list of things that I learned in 2013 that I started January 1 but I was once again in a hurry that I decided to put in a drawer and inish later... Well 6 months later, does it still apply?
What I learned in 2013? (Now it is July 1, 2014)
`Sometimes I am selfish-even if I do not voice it, i May think it--- but God is catching me more and more and I do truly genuinely love people and that what I want to do with my life
`I hate lying and dishonesty- trust is what I value in a relationship above anything else and it gets to me quicker than anything when people do not tell the truth. Just be honest! It is easier! and
`Gossiping probably is my #2 - if you are going to say it behind their backs-respect them enough to say it to their faces or just reconsider your friendships with them. It is about respect and trust. this is a lesson that I learned over 2013 and I have quickly learned to apply to my life.
`Work for what you want. Hard work will pay off in the end. Pray about it and take God's lead. It may not be wasy but it will be worth it. Dedication and hard work.
`Sometimes walking this road might be a very lonely road. But do not doubt God, He is bedide you, you may feel alone but you can push through and ersevere and it will be worth it :) At the right time, He will bring the right people in your life.
`Even when I do not feel it, I am blessed, It is easy for me to remember the things I do not have or that I struggle with but honestly I am blessed with a stable job with wonderful co workers, an amazing opportunity in graduate school, a home, people I call my family that I can trust.
`I need to love more, give more, talk less, remember more, do more, watch less tv, gym more, take more adventures, etc ;)
`I sometimes talk too soon and say things the wrong way so I want to sit back and think and articulate things better
`There is more to life than Black and White- God is okay with us figuring out life in the gray areas as long as we dont lose sight of Him
`Biggest, shocking lesson--I miay actually be smart enough for graduate school--- God's plan is so much better than mine and I can succeed regardless of what other people or don't believe
So looking at this list, I can say I have applied a alot of this to my life, I am very forth coming to what I think about you, if I am not going to be willing to tell you what I thing then I shouldn't be willing to tell others. I think this is one of my favorite adopted philosopies. But also I am realizing more importantly just not to say anything... Sitting back and biting my tongue and not giving my opinion about everything is golden, Sometimes it shouldnt matter what I have to say, silence is a wise tool.
Graduate School has gotten harder and I have learned a whole new meaning to working hard. But I have taken so many adventures so far this year and so many are being planned for the next half of the year.... I am learning to seize the moment and take advantage of each moment I can. This has definitely been a a wonderful year of many great things so even though I forgot this list, most of it has been applicable to me. God continues to challenge me and nurture my growth and relationship with Him and most of these lessions are biblical reflections and I am in awe of His Love and Grace.
What I learned in 2013? (Now it is July 1, 2014)
`Sometimes I am selfish-even if I do not voice it, i May think it--- but God is catching me more and more and I do truly genuinely love people and that what I want to do with my life
`I hate lying and dishonesty- trust is what I value in a relationship above anything else and it gets to me quicker than anything when people do not tell the truth. Just be honest! It is easier! and
`Gossiping probably is my #2 - if you are going to say it behind their backs-respect them enough to say it to their faces or just reconsider your friendships with them. It is about respect and trust. this is a lesson that I learned over 2013 and I have quickly learned to apply to my life.
`Work for what you want. Hard work will pay off in the end. Pray about it and take God's lead. It may not be wasy but it will be worth it. Dedication and hard work.
`Sometimes walking this road might be a very lonely road. But do not doubt God, He is bedide you, you may feel alone but you can push through and ersevere and it will be worth it :) At the right time, He will bring the right people in your life.
`Even when I do not feel it, I am blessed, It is easy for me to remember the things I do not have or that I struggle with but honestly I am blessed with a stable job with wonderful co workers, an amazing opportunity in graduate school, a home, people I call my family that I can trust.
`I need to love more, give more, talk less, remember more, do more, watch less tv, gym more, take more adventures, etc ;)
`I sometimes talk too soon and say things the wrong way so I want to sit back and think and articulate things better
`There is more to life than Black and White- God is okay with us figuring out life in the gray areas as long as we dont lose sight of Him
`Biggest, shocking lesson--I miay actually be smart enough for graduate school--- God's plan is so much better than mine and I can succeed regardless of what other people or don't believe
So looking at this list, I can say I have applied a alot of this to my life, I am very forth coming to what I think about you, if I am not going to be willing to tell you what I thing then I shouldn't be willing to tell others. I think this is one of my favorite adopted philosopies. But also I am realizing more importantly just not to say anything... Sitting back and biting my tongue and not giving my opinion about everything is golden, Sometimes it shouldnt matter what I have to say, silence is a wise tool.
Graduate School has gotten harder and I have learned a whole new meaning to working hard. But I have taken so many adventures so far this year and so many are being planned for the next half of the year.... I am learning to seize the moment and take advantage of each moment I can. This has definitely been a a wonderful year of many great things so even though I forgot this list, most of it has been applicable to me. God continues to challenge me and nurture my growth and relationship with Him and most of these lessions are biblical reflections and I am in awe of His Love and Grace.
Jun 12, 2014
A year Later
Oh my! If anyone would have told me how much my life would have changed in a year just a year ago, I may not have believed them. I do not even have time to sit and think anymore, so many triumphs and challenges, so many adventures and so many friends met along the way. I think I have come to truly understand what friendship really means and how to cherish it because true friends are very far and few between. I never realized how blessed I am to have ones I have in my life there until I started leaving my comfort zone and even leaving the country.
I can never really put down into words the adventures of this last year. But over a couple of entries I shall try. That is if I do not get distracted again. Right know I am in my most trying month of graduate school. I just got back from the UK and had to jump into summer classes. From the moment I began the masters program, I knew ethics and stats would be the most difficult classes for me so jumping straight into them from a trip outside the country on top of coming back into work without blinking an eye and having one month of compacted studies... Well if I survive, I will be amazed. ;)
In less than a month, I will have completed my first year as a graduate student. I never in a million years thought I was smart enough to get my masters but after the series of events that led me to Stetson, I felt ready. In the first orientation meeting, we were told we will not leave the same people that we entered and I smiled at that because it just sounded like another speech that you hear at any beginning of any program. But I should have considered that this was a counseling program and a year later, I really have changed. My view on people have changed, my view on myself have changed and even my passions in life have changed. I still love Jesus and still love people and babies and pets but I have developed into a stronger person. I am not as submissive and passive, I am not a doormat. I will stand up for what I believe and I won't let people take advantage of me. I also stand up for others that I see people take advantage of and I want to protect them (hence my passions changing). I see people who have disabilities differently and I want them to have a voice, I want to be a voice for those who don't have a voice and I will figure out how to make that happen.
I still want to work with children but I know how I want to do that now. I know the theories I want to prescribe to (person centered, Gestalt, and Adlerian mainly) and I want to use Play Therapy to work with the children and youth who have been abused and abandoned and are traumatized. I understand other training I will need to go through to understand what they have been through but my empathy and caring persona will help me go far in therapy. I know I do not respond well to REBT so I will not use it in counseling but I am glad I had that experience of figuring that out as well as I met a REBT therapist.
I have had to dissect my family and understand my roots. I have found out so much about both sides of my family and have learned so much about myself through that. It was amazing and intriguing at the same time.
I even went to London and Edinburgh in May for 10 days to a conference. That was an experience and a half. Without this program, I may never have been brave enough to take that adventure. (that is a whole post within itself).
A year into the program, I can tell you who I am becoming as a counselor (kind of) and who I want to be as a person.... but hopefully I am living it out to those that are in my life. When I am not so swamped with my busy schedule that is ;)
More next time ;)
I can never really put down into words the adventures of this last year. But over a couple of entries I shall try. That is if I do not get distracted again. Right know I am in my most trying month of graduate school. I just got back from the UK and had to jump into summer classes. From the moment I began the masters program, I knew ethics and stats would be the most difficult classes for me so jumping straight into them from a trip outside the country on top of coming back into work without blinking an eye and having one month of compacted studies... Well if I survive, I will be amazed. ;)
In less than a month, I will have completed my first year as a graduate student. I never in a million years thought I was smart enough to get my masters but after the series of events that led me to Stetson, I felt ready. In the first orientation meeting, we were told we will not leave the same people that we entered and I smiled at that because it just sounded like another speech that you hear at any beginning of any program. But I should have considered that this was a counseling program and a year later, I really have changed. My view on people have changed, my view on myself have changed and even my passions in life have changed. I still love Jesus and still love people and babies and pets but I have developed into a stronger person. I am not as submissive and passive, I am not a doormat. I will stand up for what I believe and I won't let people take advantage of me. I also stand up for others that I see people take advantage of and I want to protect them (hence my passions changing). I see people who have disabilities differently and I want them to have a voice, I want to be a voice for those who don't have a voice and I will figure out how to make that happen.
I still want to work with children but I know how I want to do that now. I know the theories I want to prescribe to (person centered, Gestalt, and Adlerian mainly) and I want to use Play Therapy to work with the children and youth who have been abused and abandoned and are traumatized. I understand other training I will need to go through to understand what they have been through but my empathy and caring persona will help me go far in therapy. I know I do not respond well to REBT so I will not use it in counseling but I am glad I had that experience of figuring that out as well as I met a REBT therapist.
I have had to dissect my family and understand my roots. I have found out so much about both sides of my family and have learned so much about myself through that. It was amazing and intriguing at the same time.
I even went to London and Edinburgh in May for 10 days to a conference. That was an experience and a half. Without this program, I may never have been brave enough to take that adventure. (that is a whole post within itself).
A year into the program, I can tell you who I am becoming as a counselor (kind of) and who I want to be as a person.... but hopefully I am living it out to those that are in my life. When I am not so swamped with my busy schedule that is ;)
More next time ;)
Aug 16, 2013
Wow! and Great News! :)
It's remarkable how time flies... not just when you are having fun either ;) Life is just fast! No matter how slow we think it is in the moment, it really will go by so quickly in a blink of an eye if you don't hold on and catch a breath. Since last October/November, so much seemed to have happened but what is worth talking about really? I mean Sarah Jean got married and I was a part of that celebration. Michael and Sarah welcomed James into the world and I got to celebrate that miracle and every day since that little miracle has blessed my life as he has experienced life. He is know standing and crawling and making noises that sounds like words... but boy, does he keep you busy! As I participated in these two momentous occasions, my heart yearned for that for my life and my knees fell to the ground numerous times in communication with God about these subjects. But instead, I kept receiving good news all the way around as other friends shared news of expecting births and celebrating marriages ... and all I could do was rejoice with them because it was such a sweet time in their lives. God and I continued to communicate over this though.... (remember this as I finish the catch up because it will help understand the great news at the bottom)
I also lost a dear friend who lost a dear friend to cancer and as I know she celebrates in Heaven I miss her so dearly, she enriched my life so very much. I also understood what it meant to lose trust in friends, not in a dramatic childish way, but as in life lessons and things happen and people are just different, trust is a fragile thing in my life that can be broken way too easily and I need to be careful with it and who I hand it off to but I also need to have faith that it is okay to trust people... as long as my ultimate trust is in God (because He catches me each time). I also feel like I encountered the devil a few times, I understand temptation and why God says flee from it and walking closely with God will protect you in so many ways.
The Holidays flew by and then the spring came and with it many changes and the urgency that God wanted many other changes to happen. Up until this point, it has been a dry spell of hearing from God, I couldn't hear Him for the life of me... well I just assumed one change would be my job... I constantly thought God wanted me to find a new job, especially because of finances (maybe more me than Him)....but life was just so busy getting ready for summer ministries and going to visit family and for the first time ever, I got to stay in a cabin in the mountains. (My friend Laura's family has a cabin and I went to spend the weekend with them)...it was glorious and coming back to reality was just no fun... I think I am meant to live in Maggie Valley... just saying... AND then the summer and that's when everything changed..........here is the GREAT NEWS!!!
I was officially accepted into the graduate program at Stetson University (Deland, FL)!! It will be for my Masters in Marriage and Family Counseling.... so I will TRY to give you a brief overview of the God story that lead me here... in the last two months (one crazy summer!)
So I have always toyed with the idea of grad school but I never found a Masters I was excited to put a lot of work into and i thought about counseling but I guess I kept doubting myself and i never found a program to suit me and the schools down here are huge... too huge for my comfort (small town girl)... so it just never happened... it has been six crazy years since graduation and I am an Admin Assistant.... well I can do the job well but it is a very isolated, unsociable job and I just kept feeling pulled to be out there helping people . Well I kept getting encouraged by my family here to think about it and I began a bible study called PLACE (are you serving where God wants you, what are your strengths, gifts, etc) in May (this summer) and I just began seeking God. I applied for a few jobs before I ran across this program at Stetson and I just knew it was the program for me. I emailed them for information and I was in an interview the next week. During this time, I knew God was doing something big and I knew that within the next year things would totally be different etc... but I didn't know how so I just gave a simple prayer before the interview and the info session... if this is meant to be let everything fall into place...(keep in mind I am thinking this is for January admission because it is already the beginning of June)... by the end of the interview, all my fears were gone, all my questions were answered, and for the first time in a long time I felt excited and like this was exactly where I needed to be...From there until yesterday, it has been a whirlwind... many MANY steps I won't bore you with... but EVERYTHING fell into place and i got a call yesterday saying i was unconditionally accepted into the FALL semester and orientation is August 17th!!!
I have chosen Stetson on purpose. I truly thought about going to get my degree in biblical counseling but because of what I want to do with my degree that would not be the best route for me. Ultimately, I want to get into the Foster Care system and the children's homes and work with the children and youth there. That's how I want to use my counseling, to help the hurting children in the state system... to do that I have to be licensed under the state... actually I will be licensed nationally so I can go to any state to practice. At the end, I will be certified to go out and work with the children who need someone to care about them... that has been my dream since freshman year at CofC... God is being faithful to His promises... it doesn't get any sweeter than that.
I hope you can see God in this because I can! I left out some details (I know hard to believe) but I have been praying over this from the beginning, knowing this was all from God if it was meant to be ...
Anyway, I am all nervous and excited and all over the place and it is nice. I still have a lot to figure out and i think there will be a lot of craziness... i forgot what its like getting books and stuff and school plus work... yikes... but I know God has my back and as long as I stay focused on Him I think I may be okay ... and through it all, I am getting the ultimate peace of not being married or having children. I do hope to be married one day, I truly do. To the right guy :) Until then, God is allowing me to pursue my dream and help others along the way :) Stay tuned!
I also lost a dear friend who lost a dear friend to cancer and as I know she celebrates in Heaven I miss her so dearly, she enriched my life so very much. I also understood what it meant to lose trust in friends, not in a dramatic childish way, but as in life lessons and things happen and people are just different, trust is a fragile thing in my life that can be broken way too easily and I need to be careful with it and who I hand it off to but I also need to have faith that it is okay to trust people... as long as my ultimate trust is in God (because He catches me each time). I also feel like I encountered the devil a few times, I understand temptation and why God says flee from it and walking closely with God will protect you in so many ways.
The Holidays flew by and then the spring came and with it many changes and the urgency that God wanted many other changes to happen. Up until this point, it has been a dry spell of hearing from God, I couldn't hear Him for the life of me... well I just assumed one change would be my job... I constantly thought God wanted me to find a new job, especially because of finances (maybe more me than Him)....but life was just so busy getting ready for summer ministries and going to visit family and for the first time ever, I got to stay in a cabin in the mountains. (My friend Laura's family has a cabin and I went to spend the weekend with them)...it was glorious and coming back to reality was just no fun... I think I am meant to live in Maggie Valley... just saying... AND then the summer and that's when everything changed..........here is the GREAT NEWS!!!
I was officially accepted into the graduate program at Stetson University (Deland, FL)!! It will be for my Masters in Marriage and Family Counseling.... so I will TRY to give you a brief overview of the God story that lead me here... in the last two months (one crazy summer!)
So I have always toyed with the idea of grad school but I never found a Masters I was excited to put a lot of work into and i thought about counseling but I guess I kept doubting myself and i never found a program to suit me and the schools down here are huge... too huge for my comfort (small town girl)... so it just never happened... it has been six crazy years since graduation and I am an Admin Assistant.... well I can do the job well but it is a very isolated, unsociable job and I just kept feeling pulled to be out there helping people . Well I kept getting encouraged by my family here to think about it and I began a bible study called PLACE (are you serving where God wants you, what are your strengths, gifts, etc) in May (this summer) and I just began seeking God. I applied for a few jobs before I ran across this program at Stetson and I just knew it was the program for me. I emailed them for information and I was in an interview the next week. During this time, I knew God was doing something big and I knew that within the next year things would totally be different etc... but I didn't know how so I just gave a simple prayer before the interview and the info session... if this is meant to be let everything fall into place...(keep in mind I am thinking this is for January admission because it is already the beginning of June)... by the end of the interview, all my fears were gone, all my questions were answered, and for the first time in a long time I felt excited and like this was exactly where I needed to be...From there until yesterday, it has been a whirlwind... many MANY steps I won't bore you with... but EVERYTHING fell into place and i got a call yesterday saying i was unconditionally accepted into the FALL semester and orientation is August 17th!!!
I have chosen Stetson on purpose. I truly thought about going to get my degree in biblical counseling but because of what I want to do with my degree that would not be the best route for me. Ultimately, I want to get into the Foster Care system and the children's homes and work with the children and youth there. That's how I want to use my counseling, to help the hurting children in the state system... to do that I have to be licensed under the state... actually I will be licensed nationally so I can go to any state to practice. At the end, I will be certified to go out and work with the children who need someone to care about them... that has been my dream since freshman year at CofC... God is being faithful to His promises... it doesn't get any sweeter than that.
I hope you can see God in this because I can! I left out some details (I know hard to believe) but I have been praying over this from the beginning, knowing this was all from God if it was meant to be ...
Anyway, I am all nervous and excited and all over the place and it is nice. I still have a lot to figure out and i think there will be a lot of craziness... i forgot what its like getting books and stuff and school plus work... yikes... but I know God has my back and as long as I stay focused on Him I think I may be okay ... and through it all, I am getting the ultimate peace of not being married or having children. I do hope to be married one day, I truly do. To the right guy :) Until then, God is allowing me to pursue my dream and help others along the way :) Stay tuned!
Nov 13, 2012
The month of Thanksgiving
Tuesday November 6
That I have the ability to go to the gym... people take their physical abilities for granted but sometimes I forget how blessed I am that I am able to live, move, drive, and not stuck in a wheelchair with people doing everything for me. I get to go to aqua aerobics and I may not be any good but it is the one place I do enjoy working out.
Wednesday, November 7
Friends such as Dani (and Danny and etc) Through my short time at Brantley I made a few meaningful friendships and one of which I got to catch up on today after months of completely missing each other schedule wise.
Thursday, November 8
Sarah (and Michael and Baby James)... I met Sarah through Suzette's son Mike bc they fell in love and got married etc but in the process she has become a dear friend with a beautiful spirit and today is her birthday and we get to celebrate her... and Baby James since he is almost 1 month :)
Friday, November 9
My grandmothers.... today is one of their birthdays and as they celebrate her in SC I just have to remember how blessed i am, i grew up with two grandmas and two great grandmas... and my granny and grandma are still kickin' and carrying on and teaching us stuff daily.... and Granny, well she is my heart, she means the world to me, I grew up trying to learn all the stuff she taught me and feeling like i only grasped 10% of what the wise woman has in that mind and heart or hers.
Saturday, November 10
The Willows (Adam and Jen) and the Cataffis (Rob and Rhonda) and the Bartons (Leslie and Laura) ... These are 6 irreplaceable people in my life... sharing life with them and ALWAYS coming out laughing and FULL of delicious food.... I wouldn't trade our Saturdays or the bonds we have created for anything .... they have always and I mean ALWAYS have been there when i needed something and I love them to death.
Sunday November 11
Lynn Latham, she shared her life with me the last five years of her life, and today we were able to celebrate her life and remember it... she taught me what loving Jesus and loving others and living missionally was all about and the footprint she left on my heart will never be erased.
Monday, November 12
The Veterans they have fought and sacrificially served our country for the freedom we have today.
Tuesday, November 13
My Dad, today is his birthday, and I am partly who I am because of him so I am thankful for that.
That I have the ability to go to the gym... people take their physical abilities for granted but sometimes I forget how blessed I am that I am able to live, move, drive, and not stuck in a wheelchair with people doing everything for me. I get to go to aqua aerobics and I may not be any good but it is the one place I do enjoy working out.
Wednesday, November 7
Friends such as Dani (and Danny and etc) Through my short time at Brantley I made a few meaningful friendships and one of which I got to catch up on today after months of completely missing each other schedule wise.
Thursday, November 8
Sarah (and Michael and Baby James)... I met Sarah through Suzette's son Mike bc they fell in love and got married etc but in the process she has become a dear friend with a beautiful spirit and today is her birthday and we get to celebrate her... and Baby James since he is almost 1 month :)
Friday, November 9
My grandmothers.... today is one of their birthdays and as they celebrate her in SC I just have to remember how blessed i am, i grew up with two grandmas and two great grandmas... and my granny and grandma are still kickin' and carrying on and teaching us stuff daily.... and Granny, well she is my heart, she means the world to me, I grew up trying to learn all the stuff she taught me and feeling like i only grasped 10% of what the wise woman has in that mind and heart or hers.
Saturday, November 10
The Willows (Adam and Jen) and the Cataffis (Rob and Rhonda) and the Bartons (Leslie and Laura) ... These are 6 irreplaceable people in my life... sharing life with them and ALWAYS coming out laughing and FULL of delicious food.... I wouldn't trade our Saturdays or the bonds we have created for anything .... they have always and I mean ALWAYS have been there when i needed something and I love them to death.
Sunday November 11
Lynn Latham, she shared her life with me the last five years of her life, and today we were able to celebrate her life and remember it... she taught me what loving Jesus and loving others and living missionally was all about and the footprint she left on my heart will never be erased.
Monday, November 12
The Veterans they have fought and sacrificially served our country for the freedom we have today.
Tuesday, November 13
My Dad, today is his birthday, and I am partly who I am because of him so I am thankful for that.
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