I love how throughout life, you will always have change... I mean I guess things settle down some when you get married ... but that's change in itself and starting a family that you will continually see grow... so CHANGE is always happening. Yet when the big changes begin to happen in my life, I start to feel anxious. Not of my own choosing, especially when I know God is ordaining it all. Stepping into the unknown doesn't really scare me, I like new things. It is letting the old things go that I completely stink at. Knowing that I am saying good bye to certain areas of my life, and even though I know its a good thing, it makes me sad....
Last night at Refuge, it was suppose to be announced that next week would be my last week on leadership. I mean God is taking me in so many directions and I really feel His guiding me to place more focus on OURM and helping with ROCK. Those two ministries on top of my health and my job... something had to give... and I feel this has Jesus written all over it. However, through crazy turn of events, the Youth Pastor had to announce his being guided down a different path to a different church earlier than planned. Big change erupted, those kids love A. It has delayed my leaving a week or so... maybe... I have no clue right now.....but it gave me a chance to sit back and observe. I have a really close friend that leads worship there, we know each other so well and would do anything for each other ... but we hang out with different people now and I mean he had the freedom to come to my apt anytime when he wanted since it was down the rode from his house but as we both are beginning the process of moving, we are going opposite directions.... and then there is Dani, she was the youth that welcomed me into LBC with open arms and a friendship formed a couple ago, especially as she graduated from high school and entered college. She will stay on as leadership as i have hoped, but it will be hard not seeing her weekly. I know, I know it is not the end of the world... it is just life gets busy and unless people are active in your life its easy not to remain as close. I actually feel this is the direction God wants... its just sad. THEN I looked at all the youth, I cant wait to see what happens to them in the next few years... wow! Adam and I leaving gives God a chance to bring in new leadership and WOW, think of the possibilities. That helps remind me that even though i may grow away from some people, even people i care a lot for, God is written all over this....
He continuously sent people away, asked them to get up and move and follow him... from Abraham to Moses to the Disciples, this is how God works... and this allows Him to work in BIG ways. so deeply I know I should be ecstatic...and I am, it is just mixed with a little sadness and A LOT OF TRUST. In the next few months, I can't wait to see God's plan unfold.....
Below are quotes that make me smile and i think are quite appropriate:
"The key to change ... is to let go of fear"
"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever"
"Change is inevitable -- except from a vending machine"
"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts"
and finally....
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"
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